Difference: 17 months, several programs, and zero quit..THEN: Scared less new mama, clueless, zero confidence, not a lick of energy but all the gratitude in the world for that sweet baby. I could barely bend down and stand back up let alone do one push up.
Newborn that didn’t nap, didn’t want to be put down, hit that fussy witching hour HARD mid afternoon.
Breastfeeding challenges from the get, nipple shield, lactation visits, terrified I wouldn’t be able to do it. ((No pressure, right mamas??))
All that left me on a nonstop rollercoaster of emotions + exhaustion, doubting myself at every turn, feeling alien in my postpartum body. A body that had done an amazingly wonderful thing, still supplying my sweet girl with nutrition, but leaving me feeling less than (even though I knew the opposite to be true). Those postpartum mind f$@&s are no joke .
I latched onto the only thing I saw that could maybe help me: an at home program, 20 minutes a day. Even if I had to hold Audrey through it (which I did more often than not), I could probably do 20 minutes. Probably. Insert a fiery redhead with ALL the energy and muscle.
So even though we pressed pause A LOT, even though I modified ALL OF IT, even though it was hard and I didn’t “feel like it”, and was omg so effing sore everyday I kept showing up. I kept pressing play. I kept using Audrey as my weight, and my motivation.
Slowly, the weight came off. But even quicker, the negative thoughts came off. The frustration eased a little quicker, things started to fall into place as we found our new normal + I started feeling the beautiful effects of daily endorphins .
That first program gave me ME back, Stella got her groove baby, I found my purpose and rhythm as a mama, I found my sass + my fire. I found a love for this thing I was so freakin skeptical about, and I kept showing up, each program giving me something new + different, but just as awesome.
.The best part? My baby girl gets to watch every second, and she’s still my everyday reason, my forever motivation..I’d say it’s going pretty damn good